There may be evenings when a parent and a child sigh together over a test score that has just come back. I can't study. I hate studying. The more a child believes this, the more likely they are to sell their own worth short.
Why a child struggles with studying is never just one thing. Some children are stuck because they can't follow the material; others are held back first by physical or emotional pain. This piece is meant for children who can't see what the effort is for, and so can't find the motivation.
Not every gap can be changed later. Differences in innate strengths and weaknesses remain. Even so, gaps that came from differences in motivation and experience can be changed later. Life is long, and people who can keep making an effort as adults are strong.
Gaps that can change, and gaps that are harder to change
Education research has reported many cases in which an academic head start gained through extra lessons or early education later shrinks. A lead gained by learning something early can narrow as other children learn the same thing at school. This does not apply to every learning gap, however, and it is no guarantee that children will catch up on their own with time.
Meanwhile, twin studies and similar research report that the share of individual differences in intelligence-test scores explained by genetic differences tends to grow with age. As a rough guide, it is about 20% in infancy, about 40% in adolescence and about 60% in adulthood (Plomin & Deary, 2015). This does not mean that 60% of one child's ability is fixed from birth. It describes individual differences within a group. Even so, I won't say that every child can catch up in the same way.
So please don't mistake a score gap for the child's worth. There is no need to feel excessive inferiority just because you can't study well. The direction in which each person grows is different.
Without meaning, the hands don't move
Perhaps there are children who have blamed themselves, every time they were told "Show some motivation," for not being able to move. But a child without motivation is often not being lazy. If you can't see what the work is for, "what will this lead to?", you cannot get your hands moving. Adults are the same.
In a first-year high school science course in the United States, students were asked to write about how what they were learning connected to their own lives. Their interest rose, and the effect was larger for students who had little confidence before the course (Hulleman & Harackiewicz, 2009). It was an experiment in a single course, so it cannot be said to work for every child. But it offers a clue: when people feel "this matters to me," they find it easier to start moving.
Meaning is hard to see through explanation alone. It comes into view through the experience of making something yourself and having someone use it. It can be drawing, cooking, crafts, computers, or helping someone. It is not too late to start moving once the meaning becomes visible.
Life is a long game of effort
Life is a long game of effort. The scores you got as a child are only differences in the starting point. The contest is whether you can keep going for years, once you are an adult.
As we get older, we become able to choose environments that suit us. We can spend time on what we like and build on what we're good at. We can choose for ourselves what to spend our time on. That is why people who can keep making an effort as adults are strong.
When you see what you want to do, or what you need to do, it is enough to be someone who can make an effort then. If studying becomes necessary, you can learn it again from there. Reading, writing and understanding numbers are the foundation of everything. Part-time and correspondence high schools, vocational colleges, universities: there are many paths.
It's okay. You don't have to rush. It's fine to be bad at it for now. It's fine to dislike it. It's fine if you still can't see the meaning. Even on days when you can't move, that doesn't reduce your worth at all. The sigh of a night like that is not all of who you are.
Digital Kodomo BASE runs a free learning space, After-School Lab, every Wednesday. We are also starting Furatto Lab, for elementary and junior high school students who find school hard to attend, on Monday, October 19, 2026. It is a place where you can take on what you like, at your own pace.